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“Get enthusiastic, spoken agreement from both of your playmates before you take any pics or film anything.” Be decent, even when you’re being indecentĪlong with three dicks, there are also three sets of feelings in the room. It can be fun for two of you to connect on your own for a while, but try not to go too long without leaving an opening (any will do) for all three of you to get back in the action. It’s inevitable that you’re all going to be the third wheel at some point. Everyone is going to be left out at some point A little selfishness gives everyone permission to do the same, so be the star for as long as it’s fun - and then let one of them have a turn. Let them know and ask them to give it to you. It’s very likely that one or both of your partners will have absolutely no idea what turns you on. If at any time you’re not enjoying yourself, or your boundaries aren’t being respected, or you’re not comfortable for any reason - it’s time to leave. A great threesome is about everyone having fun. Like a lot of fantasies, there are going to be times when a threesome fails to live up to expectations. Opt out any time if you’re not feeling it If you’re not enjoying what’s happening, let your partner(s) know and change it up. If you’re not sure if a guy is into what you’re doing, ask him directly, and get an enthusiastic go-ahead before you proceed.
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Check in with each other - this is one scenario where it’s impossible to over-communicate. This will usually pass once everyone has warmed up a bit, so don’t let it kill the mood.īut it’s important to be aware of everyone’s boundaries, including your own. Who’s in charge? What are we doing first? Where do you want me? Are you putting the condom on now? Me or him? Be prepared for some moments when it just doesn’t flow. There are a whole lot of practical, logistical and timing issues which don’t always sort themselves out naturally, and it can get awkward. Be prepared for some awkwardness, and be aware of everyone’s boundaries That way, if any of you do get diagnosed with an STI, you can let each other know so you can all get tested, and treated if necessary. “There’s going to be a lot of body fluid in the room - make sure you’re clear on how you’re all managing your risk.”Īnd - importantly - even if you’re not planning to see each other again, make sure you’ve got a way to stay in touch. If you’re using condoms, have lots of them ready, along with plenty of lube, so you can get a new one every time anyone is changing partners. It’s a good idea to discuss whether you’re on PrEP (if you’re HIV-negative), undetectable (if you’re HIV-positive), using condoms, or a combination thereof. There’s going to be a lot of body fluid in the room - make sure you’re clear on how you’re all managing your risk. Talk about how you’re managing your STI and HIV risk This is also the right time to raise any kinks or fetishes, even the ‘light’ ones - they’re more likely to get into your pits or play with your feet if they know you like it. It’s not always super sexy, but it’s worth talking about who wants to do what, and with whom.ĭiscuss tops and bottoms and anything you especially want to try or definitely don’t want to try. Manage expectationsĮven if your threesome is unplanned and unexpected, lay some foundations before you get into the bedroom. And it’s worth setting some clear boundaries beforehand - make sure you cover things like kissing, using condoms, how you’re managing your HIV risk, and future contact. If you’re part of the couple, think beyond the sex when you’re choosing your third - is it really a good idea to invite your neighbour, or your partner’s colleague, or your friend’s ex over for playtime? (Spoilers: no, no and hard no). Respect their relationship and their boundaries, and you may well be invited back. If you’re the third, this can be a lot of fun - you’re essentially a special treat for the evening. Some couples love bringing another guy into the mix. Whether you’re an accomplished sandwich artist or a keen first-timer, read on for some handy tips on getting the most out of a three-way. It may not be something that happens every day, but there’s no denying that a gay threesome is a compelling fantasy. Ever thought about getting a couple of your buddies together at the same time? Or considered sharing a guest star with your boyfriend? Is it always true that the best things come in threes?